Unseen Ladders

Choosing the Right Status Hierarchies

Growing up in the comfortable suburbs of Atlanta, I never wanted for much. We were comfortably middle-class, a status guaranteed by my Dad’s work ethic, willingness to take entrepreneurial risks, and the favorable conditions of the economy under Reaganomics. My parents, though they hadn't attended college themselves made it known that we were expected to do so while providing a childhood where big birthdays, festive Christmases, and annual vacations were the norm. I was privileged—not just in material terms but in the stability and support that many don't have. I’ve never been ashamed to admit that because the privilege came from the sacrifices of those who loved me.

Despite being a gifted student, my potential wasn't fully recognized or called out in the way it could have been. Those who might have guided me toward greater heights didn't, perhaps because they didn't know how or didn't see beyond the familiar patterns of our community. It wasn't until my college years that my abilities began to be acknowledged, making me something of a "late bloomer."

Aaron M. Renn recently wrote a piece on Status Hierarches that really floored me. He spoke of Midwestern hierarchies that kept him anchored in certain paths and how those paths could lead so high but no higher. I saw parallels in the Southern versions that shaped my own journey without me ever knowing it.

In my community, there was an unspoken rule: don't "get above your raising." Major life experiences were valued only if they happened close to home. There was a palpable fear that venturing too far might change you in ways that distanced you from your roots.

A recent encounter taught me that these encoded responses were still alive and well in my world. I heard on a podcast that all of the Ivy League schools will pay 100% of tuition, room and board for students who qualify for admission and live in a designated rural area or small MSA. I asked one of the local counselors at one of our high schools if she knew about it. She did not. Her entire job consists of helping students get the best education possible but her only comment to me was “Our students wouldn’t be interested in being so far from home for college.” Confirmation bias in status hierarchies on display.

This mindset subtly influenced my early choices, too. Staying close felt safe, acceptable, and even expected. It wasn't until a professor at Mercer University pulled me aside after reading one of my papers that I began to see a different path. "You don't belong here," he said. "This is the work that students at Harvard and Yale are doing. You need to leave here and go somewhere that can see you for what you will accomplish."

His words were a revelation. Here was someone who saw me—not just my work, but my potential—and urged me to step onto a bigger stage. I took his advice, transferring to Emory University a Top 25 school (with a short detour at Oxford University in the UK) that broadened my horizons in ways I couldn't have imagined. The kids at Emory were very different from the people I knew at Mercer. The status hierarchies were different; each group defined success very differently.

Looking back, I realize how much the unspoken hierarchies of my upbringing had limited my vision. I was climbing a ladder, yes, but it wasn't leading me where I truly wanted to go. I hadn't even recognized that other ladders existed—ladders that could take me into national or global arenas, connecting me with networks and opportunities far beyond the familiar.

My learnings here? There are ways to change this.

Awareness Is Key

Without awareness, there is no choice. We often move through life following the scripts handed to us by our communities, families, or circumstances. But these scripts come with their own hierarchies that may not align with our true aspirations. As you make choices in life, try to be fully aware of what status hierarchy is informing that choice for you. Ask what the best possible outcome would be, and understand where that end result is anchored.

Challenge the Familiar

It's comfortable to stay within the boundaries we've always known, but growth only comes from stepping into the unfamiliar. We must not let the natural fear of change—or of how others might perceive that change—hold you back. This is a self-image problem, and work that we do on our self-image shows up in our lives.

Get a Mentor/Be a Mentor

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to help people to see their own potential. Seek out those who can offer guidance, who can see beyond where you are to where you could be. Invite them into your life and be open to what they say. And then go and become that kind of mentor to others.

Make Conscious Choices

Be intentional about the paths you choose. Think deeply about the hierarchies impacting you, understand where different choices might lead you—not just in terms of career, but in personal growth and fulfillment. Make the hard choices required to jump hierarchies if that’s what will serve you better.

Redefine Success

Success doesn't have to mean abandoning your roots or values. It's about aligning your ambitions with the paths that can best help you achieve them, even if that means forging a new way.

My journey has taught me that the ladders we climb matter just as much as the effort we put into climbing them. By becoming aware of the different hierarchies at play and making conscious choices about which ones to engage with, we can open doors to opportunities that might have otherwise remained closed, or never been visible in the first place.

We owe it to ourselves to look up from the rungs beneath our feet and see where our ladder is actually leading us. Sometimes, it's worth stepping off and finding a new one that aligns with where we truly want to go.