Irreplaceable, a book review

Where will we gather?

One of the true delights in my life is discovering people who have discovered my work. In October a friend of mine went to the Cayman Islands for a vacation, walked into the condo he had rented and saw my book sitting on the shelf. 2 weeks ago I walked into a dinner in Scottsdale and one of the guests said “Trey Taylor, how do I know that name? Oh, I read your book!” and pulled up the Audible copy on his phone. I never felt more famous, ha! I get hit up on social media sometimes, too, by people who’ve read the book.

Kevin Ervin Kelley, an LA-based architect recently read the book and reached out on LinkedIn. He was kind enough to send me a copy of his book, Irreplaceable, which I devoured. Because if there’s one thing I appreciate, it’s a signal that cuts through the noise, and Kelley delivers exactly that in this intriguing book.

Irreplaceable puts into words this feeling that I’ve had — we’ve all had — in the middle of what I call the Digital Shift: physical places are being eliminated in favor of online replacements. He sees what most miss: in our obsession with digital convenience, we’re bulldozing the very thing that gives people a place to related. And here’s the punchline—no one’s noticing until it’s almost too late, because we are so excited for the alternatives.

The core argument? Physical places are an endangered species, and if we’re not careful, we’re going to wake up in a world where there are no places left to come together. It’s a haunting question: Where will we gather? Because if businesses — and communities — don’t start thinking about that now, the answer will default to: nowhere. The brands and communities that endure, the ones that people tattoo on their souls, understand this. They know that "not all friction is bad. That not everything has to be uber-convenient." Because when you strip away all the little moments of human connection in the name of efficiency, you can unintentionally strip away loyalty, identity, and most importantly, meaning.

This book makes you rethink the spaces you move through every day—why some places pull you in and others feel like sterile holding pens. Kelley calls it the Bonfire Effect—the magnetic pull of a place where people actually want to be. He’s not talking about nostalgia; he’s talking about the future. The businesses that get this will build "clubhouses for wandering souls", places that end loneliness instead of just selling lattes. This is where the third place must be physical. No online forum, no metaverse, no digital experience will ever replace the need to stand shoulder to shoulder with real people in a real space with real friction.

And this isn’t just theory—it’s strategy. Kelley talks about thinking in acres and inches, meaning great brands, business and communities must operate at two levels: big-picture vision and ruthless attention to detail. The best spaces, the ones that feel inevitable, are actually designed. They’re the result of experience design—an intentional process of crafting not just what people see but how they feel in the midst of the experience.

Here’s what business leaders need to take away: The future belongs to brands that people can see themselves inside. I call this I Am for customers. Your brand isn’t what you say it is; it’s what people believe it makes them. And you don’t get that by chasing trends or optimizing for clicks—you get it by creating something so real, so irreplaceable, that people build their lives around it.

So, the question is, are you designing a business that people can’t live without? Or are you just another forgettable transaction in a world already drowning in them? Kelley’s bet—and mine—is that the winners will be the ones who give people a reason to gather. The ones who make place matter again.